If you work or spend a lot of time in an elementary school (or if you can remember back that far), you'll probably agree that a grade school is a pretty unique microcosm of society, with it's own culture, rules, traditions, and so forth. I've recently come to the conclusion that if the country (world?) were run like an elementary school, I think it might be a better place, or at the very least, a more polite one.
In elementary schools across the country, you will find exuberant young children running in the hallways. For every running child, there is a teacher making the runner walk back to wherever they started their hoofing, and return, at a walking pace. Children will get around this by walking as fast as they possibly can-little arms stiffly chopping the air at their sides, as they briskly make their way down the corridor. This is generally tolerated, because after all, they are walking!
Now think back to the last time you were driving down the interstate, perhaps doing about 10 over the speed limit (you know, to keep up with the flow), when some douchebag in a Lexus starts tailgating you. If you're like me, you'll slow down at that point to annoy the crap outta the guy until he passes you in a blurr of honking and angry gestures as you smile and wave. (Just me?) Anyhow, doesn't it feel great when a couple of miles down the road, you see that this guy has been pulled over for speeding? Well, imagine if our laws were like those of an elementary school! Mr. Attitude has to drive all the freakin' way back home-at speed limit-and return before he can go on to his destination! Awesome, right? Please notice that a speed walk-or, a cushion of about 10mph over limit-is tolerated. I'll bet that SirCompensatingforSomething wouldn't be speeding anymore!
Oh, and the tailgating? Well, when school kids are pushing each other in line, the rude little culprit often has to go to the end of the line. Tailgaters would have to go to the end of the visible line of traffic. Heh.
Oh, and wouldn't it be cool to be the "Line Leader" of traffic for the day? Much like being selected for jury duty, only much more fun (minus the free state paid for food), random, well behaved citizens would be selected to be line leader for the day, and would receive a special light to place on their car. As long as that light is there, no one can pass the leader of the day. Cool right? You could totally pretend you were the pace car driver of the Indy 500!
At the school I work at, students who are observed showing some type of respectful or caring behavior, or displaying self control or responsibility, can earn a "Caught Doing My Part" card from any adult in the building. These students get to proudly take their cards to the office, where the secretaries are sure to gush over their wonderful behavior, and drop their card in a box. Cards are pulled randomly by the principal, and the lucky winners get a school T-shirt to sport proudly (eventually everyone gets a shirt). All cards are posted on a bulletin board.
So, imagine-you receive a phone call from a police officer, or a senator or somebody, who tells you how fabulous it is that you have been obeying all the laws, paying your taxes on time, donating money to charity/doing volunteer work, and basically, being a responsible member of society. Your name will be read on the evening news, and you will be receiving a check for $5,000 soon-just for doing what you are expected to do anyway. Who wouldn't like that?
I could go on forever-special treatment on your birthday, regularly scheduled, frequent restroom breaks during the workday, people made to politely take turns, lunch for everyone, whether you can afford it or not, etc. Any other ideas?
Woohoo! It's imaginary party time again! It was so exciting last year, that I just had to do it again. Of course, I'm fashionably late once more to the pretend party scene-after all, now it's a tradition! In case you aren't familiar, 5 Minutes for Mom hosts an annual link party-it's lots of fun, and a great way to find new blogs to read. Check it out!
Imaginary parties are so much easier and less stressful to host, don't you think? After all, I don't have to spend the whole day before cleaning and scrubbing while complaining loudly and often about what slobs we must be whistling and singing happily. At an imaginary party, I can have fabulous, elaborate decorations, fancy, ultra trendy cupcakes with unusual flavors, and a huge spread of mouthwatering, sophisticated h'ordourves. Unlike what I do in real life, which besides the cleaning the day before, means heading to Super Target for the finest in microwaveable, premade finger foods (Taquitos and Rotel dip, anyone?), and grocery store bakery cake. I'm SO not Martha Stewart. Also, at a virtual party, I don't have to pretend to be nice when my clumsy uncle spills his soda on the freshly shampooed carpet. Again.
So, anyhow, thanks for stopping by my blog, Stories of an Imperfect Mom. My name is Bethany, and I am a mom to 2 kids-my daughter Little Bit, who is 10, and my son Tot, who is 8. Hubby and I have been married for 14 years, and we live with our kids, 2 cats, 1 dog, and a few fish and several cobwebs and dustbunnies in suburban Indiana. I work as a Title 1 teacher during the week, and on the weekends I generally freak out about how I'm going to get the cleaning, grocery shopping, and laundry done while taking my kids to their various softball, baseball, basketball and scouting activities. As a result, I've sort of become a bit of a blogging slacker recently, but I'm trying to get my blog mojo back.
When I do actually write (gee, this isn't sounding too promising, is it?), I write about my life, my kids, memories, gripes, or whatever pops into my head-along with a healthy dose of sarcasm and goofiness. Please check out my side bar for some "samples" of Imperfect Mom, or check out last year's Party post(when I wasn't too lazy to include actual links to my good stuff like I am now). Thanks for visiting, and I'd like to say that my posts aren't usually this lame, but I'd be lying. Please leave a comment with your blog, and I'll come visit! Have fun!