Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I feel like I'm always doing laundry-I do several loads a week.  But, I always have a serious back log of excess laundry.  This past weekend, I was determined to get it ALL done.  Really.  I started on Friday afternoon, and washed, washed, washed.  When my husband got home from work on Saturday, I asked him to please get his laundry from the floor of the bedroom his "special" laundry hamper and sort it into piles by color with the rest of the laundry, because I wasn't sure what needed to be washed.  He replied that all of it needed to be washed, and promptly fell asleep on the couch.  Mmmmmkay.  Guess I'll do that for ya there, honey.  Anyhow, not one, but TWO loads of laundry came out of the washer with packs of gum in them.  We like our laundry with a clean, minty fresh scent.  I found most of it before it hit the dryer, but not all of it.  Thankfully, the clothes were somehow unscathed, but Saturday evening found me peeling tiny bits of gum out of the inside of the dryer, and I ended up with gum on the bottoms of my socks and on the knees of my jeans. I know you envy the endless glamour that is my life.  After lots of complaining, and many dramatic sighs, I announced to my groggy husband that he was in trouble for leaving gum in his pockets.  Again.  (Yes, this has happened before.)  His response? I should have checked his pockets first.  Really?! I just washed 100's of articles of clothing, and I'm supposed to make sure everyone's only his pockets are empty after I pick them up off the bedroom floor myself? REALLY?!  His next response was that he didn't ask me to do his laundry.  Well, guess who will be doing his own laundry from now on?
Disclaimer-He's a pretty good guy, so I feel sort of guilty for posting this, but really?! C'mom! Be a grownup and pull the gum out of your pockets before you throw your clothes on the floor before you put your clothes in the hamper!

I got the kids haircuts last Thursday after school, and then Friday afternoon, I got them all dressed up, curled my daughter's hair, and took loads and loads of festive potential Christmas card pictures in front of the Christmas trees.  This is pretty much an annual tradition, and one that I generally stress over-usually needlessly.  The kids looked cute, behaved well, and didn't give me any "weird" smiles, like they do sometimes.  Pleased with our efforts, I let them change their clothes and play, as I downloaded the pictures.  Every. Single. Picture.  turned out grainy and sort of blurry. Really?!  I couldn't use a single one.  We repeated the process on Sunday with a different camera, which worked better, but the kids were sort of over it, and the pictures didn't come out as cute as the others would have been.  Bah Humbug.

I've had lots of little "really?!" moments lately.  I'm trying not to get bogged down with the frustration of it all, but it's difficult to "rise above".  I've risen as far as I can go! (And now I see that I need to knock the cobwebs out of those high corners again...)  Sometimes it's good to vent.  Speaking of "vents"...I hope there isn't any gum stuck to the dryer vent...

Friday, December 3, 2010

Ask Aunt Bethy

*blowing away the cobwebs* Hi! I'm back! I'm still slacking on the posting, I know.  Sorry about that.  I'm sure you've all been waiting with baited breath (phew! Sheesh! How about sucking on a Mentos, or something!) for me to post again, right? (Humor me, people.)  Well, as you've no doubt noticed, I'm out of writing ideas, and very much into lounging on my couch watching tv and reading other people's blogs instead.

With that said, I've decided to surf for blog material.  I went to one of those "ask a question" type sites, and after being at turns horrified, stunned, interested, and tickled (old fashioned word, I know, but what else is a good verb for "thought something was funny") by the questions, I've decided upon a few, real, word for word questions to answer here, Imperfect Mom style.

Ready? Here we go.

I found my wife passed out on the kitchen floor with an empty bottle of chocolate syrup lying beside her...?

And.....sooooo.....  You say this like it's an unusual thing.  Everyone needs a little "Me Time" right?

I'm in McDonalds, d'you think it'd be OK if I left my laptop on the table for 2 minuets?

Sure! Everyone will be too stunned by the sight of you dancing in 3/4 time around the condiment/drink station to even think about stealing your laptop.  (Unless you live in New York City-I hear they're pretty used to weird stuff there.)
Integrate the expression x^4/(e^x - 1)^2 in the limits 0 to infinity?
Ummm....well....errrrrrr..... Oh heck, we ALL know the answers to THAT, right? Heh, heh. Yeah. So...ummm...I'll just move on to another category, because this question is just too....obvious...yeah, that's it. *ahem*
What is the Parents Worst Nightmare?

You.  Next!
Need to have wisdom teeth removed ASAP, how will this effect breastfeeding?

Well honey, if your child has wisdom teeth, I'd say it's time to stop nursing anyhow.  (Ba-dum-bum! That's me making a rimshot noise!)

OMG !!! Why does the United States have to throw tantrums and overreact to evverrything?

OMG!!!!!!!! I don't KNOW!! It's sooo crazzzy, right? That country is, like,  such a baby, or something. 
Ok, I realize I'm just acting like a jerk now.
Does the proper way to do Christmas shopping involve a bottle of vodka and Amazon.com?
Sure, if the people on your gift giving list won't be upset to receive gifts like these:
Whore do some women get the idea that "men just want one thing"?

I think you just answered your own question there, Mr.Woods.
How to live and survive in such a cruel world?

I think I'll let "Sarge" answer this one.

There we go.  Help me out, here.  I just spent way too much time looking for questions.  Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Ask away, and I'll answer some in a future post.  Just no math questions.  You know, because they're too....easy.  Yeah. Uh huh.
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