I Had Two

Does your extended family have certain running jokes? Things you've said for years, that instantly make everyone laugh? Mine does.  Apparently, many years ago, there was a tv commercial, or something, where the catch phrase was "well, I had two when I came in!".  As long as I can remember, this has been a running joke, particularly with my Grandma, who tends to keep Kleenex's (plural of Kleenex has me stumped-Kleenexes, Kleenex's, Kleenexi..) up her sleeve when she doesn't have pockets.  (No, I don't really know why-she's in her 80's, so we just go along with it)  From time to time, she will be digging up her sleeves, as far as she can go, in search of the Kleenex that she thinks is there.  It looks pretty funny, so people are generally already laughing anyway, when my Betty White-like Grandma says "Well, I had two when I came in!" Of course this phrase is applied to many situations, generally ending in much hilarity. Like how my mother, who doesn't get around well recently decided to keep her cell phone in her bra, so in case she falls or something, it's right there.  She likes to pull it out and show people-so this phrase gets used often in that situation, too.  (Ok, my family is strange, I know.)

My Grandpa was born in 1902.  Because of the way and time that he was raised, he was always exceedingly polite, particularly around ladies.  He complemented every meal in great, flowery detail, even if he didn't eat much of it, and always, always, complemented everyone on what they were wearing, or how their hair looked, or whatever he could think of.  He never swore around women, and if he happened to see some off-color graffiti, he would tell you to turn your head.  All of the family's pets loved him, he would "secretly" feed them under the table, and acted like he loved them, too.  Well, when Grandpa got Alzheimer's, many of the genteel manners started to slip away, revealing....well, Grandpa.  During that time, he lived with my Aunt and Uncle, and their beloved dog, Einstein-a large, lab and golden retriever mix.  Einstein and Grandpa had been good buddies before, but once Grandpa got sick, his true annoyance with animals came out.  A couple of times, when he thought they were out of the room, my Uncle saw my Grandpa look at the dog, and mutter, under his breath, "Damn cat!"

Grandpa's been gone for several years now, but this phrase has become part of our family's repertoire.  Now whenever someone trips over something, gets annoyed, or a pet does something silly/annoying/bad, someone (ok, usually it's me) usually says, "Damn cat!", and everyone breaks up. (To fully understand this, you have to know that my extended family is very conservative-no one generally swears).

Once, my Grandma, after wiping the tears of laughter out of her eyes with a Kleenex fished out of a sleeve said, "Oh, my.  I'm scared to find out what you all will be joking about me when I'm gone."
Without missing a beat, everyone said "Well, I had two when I came in!" Cue, more laughter, even Grandma's.

So what are your family's inside jokes?

That's my Grandma in the picture.