Saturday, August 7, 2010

Doggone Guilt

I like dogs.  I'm a dog liker. (not to be confused with a dog licker, LOL).  Other people's dogs, that is.  At least the ones who don't run off from home, the ones who don't jump on me and scratch me, and the ones who don't yap constantly.  Oh, and only the smart dogs-I've known way too many stupid dogs in my time, and I have no patience for them.  (Basset/beagle mixes, I'm talking to you!) I much prefer a laid back, friendly, cuddly, purring lap cat to a dog, most of the time. Cats are not dumb, either-they are moody, calculating and manipulative, and not easily distracted; these qualities prove their intelligence to me.

Anyhow, my children, particularly my daughter, love dogs, and want one badly.  We tried owning a dog a couple of years ago, and it didn't go well for us.  Scout was (and actually still is) a Border Collie mix, although we were told he was a Sheltie mix (yeah, I don't think so) when we adopted him from the shelter as a puppy.  We kept Scout crated at night, and while we were gone, but when we were home, we kept him in the kitchen.  He had a hard time realizing that carpet and grass were not the same thing, so it was...more keep him on the linoleum.  Scout grew from a tiny little baby pup to a big, goofy puppy dog in a matter of weeks.  Oddly enough, I was usually the only person who would hear his whimpers to go out at one in the morning, and also, strangely, I was usually the only one who noticed when he was out of dog food.  Despite my studious watching of The Dog Whisperer, I could not get Scout to walk at my heel (he actually pulled me down and dragged me a few feet once-good times.), or stop chewing on things.  We spent lots of money on Kong toys and rawhide, but he was still a chewer.  He quickly destroyed two dining room chairs, multiple shoes, blankets and towels, three dog beds, several stuffed dog toys, and gnawed the molding around our kitchen door, and the underside of the kitchen cabinets.  There were many other issues that kept Scout from being a good match for our family, so a year from the date we brought him home, we gave him away to a friend of mine.  Scout is now the star pupil of his dog obedience class, and has two doggie brothers.

Apparently, giving the dog away to a friend traumatized my daughter.  She seems to have forgotten that no one but me paid much attention to the dog when we had him, and still, two and half years later, cries over missing him late at night. (Yes, in fact I do feel like crap every time she cries over him, even though Scout is happy in his new home).  This Mommy guilt has not caused me to consider getting another dog, however, despite the pleas of both of my children, and even my husband (the traitor).  I've said many times that I'd rather have another baby than have a puppy, because if I'm going to put that much time, effort and work into something, then at least a child will grow up some day and be able to take care of me when I'm old.  Not to mention the whole learning to use the toilet thing....

Little Bit has gotten much more sophisticated in her frequent dog pleas-she is now drawing up Dog Care Proposals, and writing Dog Owning Contracts.  This is the latest, that she presented my husband with this morning.  I hope you can read it...

If you can't read it, the title is Things I Will Do if I Can Have a Dog, and she has written a checklist of dog chores that she will take care of.  My favorite part is towards the end, where she says, "buy it supplies (if I can afford it)" and "anything else that needs to be done for it (except I can't take it to the vet because I can't drive and can't afford it so you guys might have to do that)" Notice she uses lots of parenthesis in her writing like someone else we know? In order to make her case particularly airtight, she has included another document, nearly blank, where we are supposed to write in our own dog care demands for her to agree to.

Oh, boy.  I so do not want another chewing, shedding, barking, pooping beast in my home, but it's hard being the lone standout when this is what I'm up against!  Anyone know of a bread that is smart, laid back, smart, doesn't bark much, smart, doesn't chew things up, keep itself clean, doesn't need to be walked, and is smart? Oh wait, that would be a cat.


  1. I don't know that there is a dog out there that doesn't need to be walked...okay, well maybe a tea cup chihuahua (ha ha), but I grew up with labs, and while they are smart, very smart, they do have a greasy coat, and they shed, but they are smart!! I have also heard the boxers are good dogs, they are a smaller bread, but not lap dogs, and they don't really shed...see the shedding part is important to me...we own a collie/husky mix...she's all hair!! Good luck!!

  2. We just lost our dog not too long ago. My Hubby and kiddies have been talking about getting another dog, but I don't know if I really want to go through all of that work again. At least not for the moment.

    Thank you for following my blog. I am following back! :)

  3. Exactly---A cat! I'm a cat person myself but we do have a puppy who is almost a year old. I've never had a puppy before and this chewing and tearing things up is driving me nuts!

    I do have to stick up for beagles, pure-bred ones, anyway. We always had beagles when I was growing up and this one is a beagle. I just think they are so sweet and they are mostly well-behaved, when they get older, anyway.

    Your daughter's method of persuasion is cute, but I understand you----We moms do not need any more things that we have to keep alive!

  4. Hahaha...I grew up with one of and whole "at-home" life. Now I have none and I don't think I ever will...

    I agree with you! If I'm going to put that much WORK into something I AT LEAST want to know that SOMEDAY that project will become more independent, be toilet trained. Feed him/herself...etc. {child preferred over puppy is what I'm getting at quite unsuccessfully...forgive me I'm VERY tired!}

    I'd hold out on the no dog...but I might be singin' a different tune in 7 or 8 good luck :)

    (love the new header and button!)

  5. I am mean and standing firm against having a dog in our house. Someday, yes, but not today!

  6. I love that she even considered her financial situation and driving status on her list. You've got yourself a clever gal!


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